World Watches Condolleezza Rice Lose It

In an irony some are calling the height of poetic justice, the Surveillance State that former National Security Advisor and Secretary of State Dr. Condolleezza Rice was so instrumental in creating and rationalizing has accidentally leaked all over the Internet all the details it has dug up on her private struggles to come to terms with all the bloodspots on her hands.

In one high definition surveillance tape that is extremely hard to watch, a nightgowned Dr. Rice is seen in a sleepwalking state bitterly complaining, according to a team of NSA lip-readers, that “all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten the little hand” apparently reeking of all the blood she has been trying unsuccessfully for years now to wash off.

At one point in the tape, Dr. Rice unlocks her closet, takes out paper, folds it, writes on it, reads it, seals it, and goes back to bed.

With assistance from a team of NSA pen-readers working in tandem with a team of NSA mind-readers, Surveillance State officials were able to glean Dr. Rice’s secret missive in its entirety: “Somebody please help me. I’m being indefinitely detained without charges or trial in a cage of guilt.”

After watching footage of the Stanford professor’s nightmare playing out on Youtube and Facebook and elsewhere, retired SERE trainer Sergeant Roy Stallings told this Shining City Gazette Reporter, “This was all so predictable. I told the brass on day one that all these chickenhawks better get some training in survival, evasion, resistance, and escape before all the torture and death they unleashed came back like a rabid Abu Ghraib attack dog to bite them in the ass.

“Now look at what you’ve got--Little Miss Concert Piano Player singing her guts out all over cyberspace. All those years an army of good people on both sides of the aisle spent working around the clock to maintain plausible deniability with regard to our worst war crimes and now we’re all glued to a documentary starring one of the major players in this horror show in her greatest role as the nut who cracked on the first twinge of psychological torture over all the mortal torture she orchestrated.

“Not so much as even a half-hearted coughing up of only her name, rank and serial number. Just an automatic rolling on herself and all her partners in war crime while the Surveillance State cameras she signed off on are rolling away.”

According to the psychiatrist’s notes that Surveillance State agents inadvertently misfiled in the Obama administration’s cabinet for flattering national security leaks, the RNC spokeswoman and Senior Fellow at the Hoover Institute is holding on thanks only to all the practice she got feigning righteous indignation in the face of public outcries over her criminal behavior.

“At some level,” says one note, “the patient may actually have convinced herself that baldly and repeatedly lying America into brutally killing hundreds of thousands of people was perfectly OK in a post 9/11 world.”

The notes also indicate that the 30 Rock guest star is having a hard time coping with the unsynchronized beats of the thousands upon thousands of tell-tale hearts pounding in her ears and making it very difficult to keep the rhythm in her beloved piano playing.

Said Code Pink spokeswoman Frances Taylor, “Finally news of a little justice. Some Poe-etic justice at that. I just hope the pounding hearts of all those murdered people aren’t drowning out the bell tolling and the diabolical snickering of that guy Dr. Condolleezza Rice sold her soul to.”