Friday, November 23, 2012

Obama Apologists Brace for Fiscal Cliff

In a move to preemptively defuse the likely widespread outrage over the looming next chapter of the so-called book President Obama is writing on the economic betraying of his Democratic base, a team of top Obama apologists from all sectors of society have launched an all-out campaign to burnish the President’s image as a man with a genius for finding unexpected ways to reach Democratic ends.

Said Diane Whitman, the so-called commander of the Barackback Mountain Brigade, a pro-Obama organization formed by the mothers of gays in the military, “Let’s just take President Obama’s taking of the single-payer approach to healthcare reform off the table. He’s been pretty mercilessly abused for bargaining away this seemingly simple answer to the horrible human and economic toll our healthcare system is taking on our country.

“But if everybody would just calm down a little and take a deep breath they might just maybe see the method to the President’s madness. I mean, what would have happened had we gone with the single-payer, Medicare for all plan the vast majority of Democrats favor?

“In the two years leading up to the 2012 election alone what we would have had is upwards of 100,000 people who didn’t die needlessly because they couldn’t afford health insurance. One-hundred-thousand. That’s a one followed by five zeroes.

“And how many more people over that same period do you think would have been made able-bodied by a healthcare system everybody actually had access to? Twice that number? Three times? Four?

“The point is, that had President Obama not taken single-payer off the table, what we would have had is an extra mob of Americans in a position to walk down to their local unemployment office and play right into Romney’s hands by pushing the unemployment figure up over the critical 8% threshold.

“If the professional liberals want to explain to me how Obama gets re-elected with unemployment up over 8 or 9 or even 10 percent, I’m all ears.”

Added Juanita Reyes from the Barack O’ Bust super PAC, “And you have to remember, the President hasn’t had the luxury to make the economic landscape any better for those Americans at or below the income threshold separating the insured from the uninsured.

“He couldn’t very well have followed the wise counsel to keep his fiscal enemies closer to him than his friends if he hadn’t done everything he possibly could to make sure the wealthy didn’t suffer from this Great Recession.”

In related news, the Obama administration today is touting a preliminary report announcing that Obamacare is still on pace to reach its goal of keeping below 40,000 the number of Americans who die needlessly this year because they can’t afford healthcare.

Said White House press secretary Jay Carney, “Certainly we’ve still got the flu season coming, but even the worst case scenario brings the number of uninsured or otherwise financially impeded needers of healthcare who die needlessly to only 39,000 or so, maybe thirty-nine five on the outside.”

Added Mr. Carney, “It’s true that Obamacare hasn’t had as much luck bringing the proportion of bankruptcies caused by healthcare-related debt to under 50%, but it’s also true that in these tough economic times, which, by the way, expose uninsured Americans to untold health-undermining stresses, it takes much less healthcare debt to send Americans into bankruptcy.” 

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